Samneng is apparently an Iloco word meaning painful or hurtful. This was my mother’s reply to quote “nagsamngeng dc” when her doctor asked her how she feels six months ago when she was confined in a hospital for the first time in her life.
I always hear the word from her as an expression of angst when she feels in pain caused by her scoliosis or perhaps, her old age. She’ll be seventy two (72) come August 15. I always thought all along that it was an old term normally used by older Ilocanos. The doctor however was amazed it was his first time to hear the word or to his words ” I never encountered” which brought him to ask if she belongs to an indigenous tribe.
I asked other Ilocanos as well if they have ever heard the same, but to no avail. So i thought it was a unique “property” only mamang could keep.
Three days ago, i brought mamang to the hospital again where now, she lies under intensive care. This moment, i surrender her still to the care of science and the might of The One. The doctor declared she suffered acute heart attack, which accordingly, is normal to adults her age. I am sure i will bring her home in good shape like in the past after her ordeal, though i know she’ll never be the same again. And this is an indescribable pain to bear.
An epitome of endlessness, i never saw her so down and helpless until these pass days. Her indomitable strength even in bed though lifts me up, as in the pass. It’s a vitamin that provides endurance to stare a blank face at the pulse and oxygen monitor all day and night and monitor her pulse rate and blood pressure as it fluctuateand withstand the pain of witnessing her pain. I could only hold back my tears…. sometimes. I wish i could take some of her suffering.
Like other daughters who long for their mother’s caress even in adult life, I will too. However, my coming home to Vigan, the zest i feel along the way each week will never be the same again. Though she taught me not to eat manga with suka and bogoong during my monthly period which i never abide, I will miss more her igado, her pipian, her dinengdeng, her buridibud, her bacho, and everything she does before her mortal body shall dictate her limits.
God bless my mamang.
Filed under: Personal
