I woke up early, watered the plants, caressed my dogs and cats, cleaned the whole house keeping the company of the Bee Gees Collection (some lyrics manifest a premonition… on “how to mend a brocken heart’.)
Later i drove south near the coastline with my beloved vintage to stand as godmother to the son of an old friend who came home only to have her baby baptized.
My first phoneless day in years.
As i live another experience of a monastic life, i let pass once more a silent day except for my limited responses to those who dared talk to me as i allowed myself to be preoccupaied with the realm of the coming hours. I kept my mind carefree.
Finally, i went home late afternoon after a senseless stay (perhaps to escape moments). The dean’s message read “sorry, i really feel sorry”.
A huge disappointment. It will definitely gradually sink in my nerves in the days to come.
Only three out of twenty five made it in our class and only one thousand two hundred eighty nine out of five thousand seven hundred ninety nine will affix their signature in the Roll of Attorneys.
Am not one of them.
I can always try, until the fifth time or perhaps until i could fix my logic, or my grammar or my handwriting. One thing remains, it is a tiresome task that is so difficult to undergo again. There are many options out there though. Siguro i might consider a nursing or medical course or just become one of the spectators of sunrise and sunset or search na lang ulit for my knight in shining armor, “feel good” once again get married and embrace the domain of domestic life……..hay Marjo ……you and your tangible self.
When my mortal body cannot comprehend the circumstances of my life, I surrender to writing. I guess i was born to die and rise everyday. The ones that i hold dear in my heart are the ones that i cannot keep.
Fr. Jack, my good friend, has kind words for me . .”don’t stop believing in yourself.”
Yes, i wont , as i chase my time.
