I believe more than five thousand Filipinos nationwide are in an expecting mood since the first day of this month not to include other spectators … families, relatives, friends, acquaintances and perhaps apparent foes or simply bystanders, for the release of the result of the one regarded as “the examination of the community.”
Am one of them.
The last time I could remember I cried immensely while praying was when I beg the Omnipotent to extend the life of my father, although while on review, I sobbed on numerous instances even on simplest situations ….often, for no reason. Last week three of my closest friends in high school which I haven’t communicated for a long time quietly paid a visit in my house. They came to express a good wish and a good hug which i sorely missed and a hopeful future for me in the field that I choose to pursue. My remaining strength fumbled.
I haven’t confronted my emotions about this matter until today as the result of all my hard work for the past five years will take a final stand anytime soon.
I haven’t fixed the books and other review materials I brought since I came home neither have the courage to open them again…. less those general references I made in relation to my work. I do not want to encounter the same ordeal yet. Brrr all the highlights and underlines, colored pencils and pentel inks… I emailed as well the soft copy I used last year to Erwin, my friend from Butuan City who himself has set another review period even prior to the release of the bar results. ( He made it. abogado na siya)
Maybe, like me, he does not want to set so much expectation for himself for quicker recovery. It still brings comfort. Though nobody knows what’s on the other side.I cannot foretell as well how I would feel whichever will come. Maybe, it will only be like mending a broken heart after a disastrous or a seemingly senseless affair (quite difficult really) or drinking a glass of cold cold water after retreat to a pointless discussion on political remedies to prohibited projects. I will be in a sad and vulnerable state. I’l just close my shell and escape reality for a while. A week or two of bottles, laughters and friends maybe enough… then i’l rise and maybe i’l read again. It is and will always be a wonderful experience after all.
My heart says though that the One has already perfected a plan even before my reasons.
