It always feels good to talk with someone who shares the same ordeal. Am referring to my encounter with my classmate this afternoon. Expressing the same excitement to update what has been, he said if he didn’t make it, it will be the end of the line for him. Never again. The best response i thought of is to be subtle and silent just to send the message that I understand what’s going on. I cannot invade the end of his mind. Only those who took it from the heart could appreciate the emotional and psychological setback of the bar exams.
The dean of our law school once shared that if there’s one experience she wouldn’t want to repeat, it is the agony before and after taking the bar examinations. And so she didn’t. She is now a lawyer. I want to say the same lines, but I could not. Am still in the state of wanting to exorcise that experience out of my system which is taking my nerves up side down each moment.
Many times I desire to submerge down to my deepest haven in all the days to come before the judgment. My mind often refuses to get out of my comfortable shell to evade another encounter with questions, speculations and expectations am so scared to answer nor entertain. They say that I made it…. I say oh god I could only wish..
He said fifty more days to go. . .
I dwell to quiet longing.
